I already did an article on how to treat your bridesmaids, but what about how to be a good bridesmaid? A lot of bridesmaids accept the roles without knowing how much is entailed and what is generally expected of the position. Here is a breakdown of generally expected responsibilities, and how to knock them out of the ballpark.
Attend All Parties
Attend as many of the parties as you can including engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette and the rehearsal dinner. If you live out of town, this can get pricey so ask the bride or MOH which ones are imperative for you to budget for, as some would prefer the shower over the bachelorette or vice versa. Remember that by accepting the role of bridesmaid that you have kind of also accepted the rsvp’s of all these parties- you are expected to show up and support the bride. Offer your assistance in these parties, does the bride need help with the menu or decorations or even just researching?
Try and make dress shopping trips as often as possible. Chances are, the bride really appreciates your opinion. Also, how will you know how comfortable you’ll be in a dress if you never make the trips? I’ve heard a lot of bridesmaids complain about the dress choice when they had not made dress shopping a priority. Make arrangements with the other ladies and try to find a time that will accommodate everyone’s schedule. Offer support and your opinions.
Accept The Dress
When the bride settles on a bridesmaid dress, accept it into your heart and soul because it’s not going to change just because you don’t like it. Hopefully the bride took into consideration your comfort level and tastes, but even if she did not you are going to have to wear it anyway. Please don’t complain to the bride or the MOH about the dress choice- it will just add stress to all involved and believe you me, there will be plenty of stress going around regardless. So shake it off and rock that chartreuse chiffon with a dazzling smile!
As a bridesmaid it is your responsibility to help the MOH and other bridesmaids plan the shower and the bachelorette party. It is also your job to help pay for it. Schedule a couple of planning get togethers with the other ladies and discuss budget, food, games, sleeping arrangements and other activities. Pull your weight in the group- no one likes a slacker. Be a team player!
Take the brides personality into account when planning these parties. Try to separate what you would think would be nice and try to picture what she would want- what would she plan if she were throwing this for herself. If she’s extroverted and likes to party- a night on the town would probably be appreciated for a bachelorette, but if she’s more reserved a night in with cocktails would maybe be better.
Try to strike a balance between a nice event and a practical one. Yeah- a Vegas trip would be an amazing bachelorette party, but that’s another huge expense. Take the other ladies budgets and schedules into account. These are events that are made to get together and honor the bride and celebrate the commitment she is about to make- it doesn’t necessarily have to break the bank.
Be Supportive! Be-Be Supportive!
Most of all your bride will need someone to talk to. A shoulder to cry on. A friend to be there to stuff invites, drink wine with, and complain about her crazy family or whatnot. Just being there to listen and be supportive in this crazy time of her life will mean more than anything. Have a crazy work schedule? That’s ok, schedule a skype date, a phone call or a cup of joe. It will help to keep her balanced and sane!
The Day Of
Be on time and on schedule. Make up a day of itinerary and stick to it. Study it, know it inside and out. You should know when hair needs to be done, when breakfast is and what time and where first look photos are. Not having to refer to it every half hour will help the day go by smoothly, plus it you lose it you’ll still be on track. Keep the bride calm and smiling. Make a day of emergency kit that includes breath mints, bobby pins, a mini sewing kit and tissues to name just a few items. Be fun and interactive during the reception- the couple will need help keeping the party going so put your dance shoes on and get down with your bad self! Celebrate this occasion with genuity- this is one of your favorite ladies and she found the man of her dreams and gets to live happily ever after.
These are just a few things to consider before accepting the role of bridesmaid. If you have an issue checking off any of these boxes, then you may want to think long and hard before taking on the part. It’s a serious job with serious expectations. But it is so much fun to be included into such a meaningful time in someone’s life, and a time both you and the bride will remember!